October 13th, 2024.
This Was My Rock Bottom (And It Looked a Lot Like “Normal Life”)
I woke up at 10am.
Brushed my teeth. Took a piss. Sat back in bed.
One scroll turned into the next.
And magically, I spent the next 5 hours jerking off and doom scrolling TikTok.
At 3:45pm…
I grabbed my THC pen, hit it a few times, and drove to my restaurant shift.
I was lost..
Same ritual in my 1999 Honda Accord:
Michigan rap blasting. Rio Da Yung OG preferably.
THC pen in my left pocket.
And i’d rip the fuck out of it.
There was literally no part of myself who wanted to be in that building sober.
It was shameful.
I could almost understand how crack heads let a drug control their decisions.
Whether I knew it or not.
That night, I wrote in my journal:
“I feel unaccomplished. I can’t live like this. My life is terrible. This university degree isn’t going to lead me anywhere I want to go. CK just lock in…”
I was 19 years old.
And I had just spent 5 hours of my life watching other people live theirs.
A month later, I spent $80 on NBA 2K25.
I bought it because I was lost.
My business was in a dry season. I didn’t know what to do next.
So my brain said:
“Why not spend $80 on streamlined progress when you can’t figure out your own?”
60 hours in the first two months.
Three full days of my life. On artificial achievement. And it felt good for maybe the first week.
New badges.
Win streaks in the park.
High Overall.
But my real life stayed flat.
Around the same time, my girlfriend asked me:
“So CK, when do you plan on actually getting out of this place? What’s your timeline?”
And i paused… this caught my slightly off guard.
It took 45 seconds of silence….
Because I didn’t have a sufficient answer.
“You know it’s all inevitable. I don’t have an exact timeline now but I know it’s soon.”
That’s what I said.
But I felt slightly off.
I knew She was right.
I was a boat in the water, pushed by wind, headed nowhere specific.
Teaching identity shifts while I couldn’t shift one habit. Highest leverage task sitting in “PUBLISH” for 5 days.
Only later i realized pattern I couldn’t see:
Real experiences are uncomfortable. Artificial ones are immediate.
So your brain learns:
Uncomfortable → reach for substitute.
I learned this early but I couldn’t see it.
When I was younger, I didn’t have a father figure.
So I watched other people’s dads on YouTube.
Videos on how to shave.
How to treat women.
Why my body was changing.
I had to watch someone else’s life when mine didn’t suffice.
That pattern runs my whole life:
When reality is uncomfortable, reach for the substitute.
When building is hard, play 2K.
When clarity is low, smoke weed.
When intimacy is scary, watch porn.
Safer. Cheaper. Instant.
And after thousands of those substitutions?
You build a life where nothing real can reach you anymore.
A month ago…
I found the deeper vision.
I put a piece of paper on my desk.
365 goals. Daily leverage tasks. Boundaries.
A system.
Now when my brain says
“let’s go smoke, we’ve done decent work”:
I look at the paper.
And I remember:
Maintaining the engine doesn’t make it go faster. It just keeps it running longer.
October 13th, 2024.
That was my last 5 hour death spiral.
Because I finally admitted:
The artificial versions weren’t keeping me safe. They were allowing me to stay numb.
Most people will read this and relate to every word.
Then go back to their artificial substitutes within an hour.
Nod at the porn problem while scrolling Reddit
Agree about video games while loading Fortnite.
Recognize the weed pattern while rolling up.
Recognition without action is just entertainment.
The discomfort you’re feeling reading this?
That’s the first sign you’re still alive.
Here’s what I learned building the system that killed my October 13th pattern:
You don’t need more discipline.
You need to understand why you reach for substitutes when discomfort hits.
You don’t need more motivation.
You need to reprogram the beliefs that make artificial feel safer than real.
You don’t need more tactics.
You need to rebuild the identity that keeps choosing numb over alive.
That’s what Zero Point System 2.0 does.
Entrepreneurs, coaches, creatives…
Reverse Engineered around the exact process that took me from 5-hour doom spirals to systematic growth.
Foundations. Childhood programming. Self-image psychology. The patterns underneath the patterns.
Early access is on now. Price goes up soon with full launch
ACCESS ZERO POINT 2.0
—CK
P.s Here’s a Lulu 5 month old update since its been awhile…
Aren’t they cute?
WW